Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
