I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize