what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
