May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
