i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
