ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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