We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
