Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
