I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
