Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
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he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
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thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.