Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
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in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??