Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!

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(212): Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did! http://tfl.nu/gcyx

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(317): View more from Indiana

it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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(317): it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely http://tfl.nu/75r5

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(917): View more from New York City

I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina

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(917): I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina http://tfl.nu/sexo

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(514): View more from Quebec

Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.

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(514): Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight. http://tfl.nu/evaz

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(315): View more from New York

I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.

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(315): I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong. http://tfl.nu/20fz

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(818): View more from California

i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...

(805): View more from California

i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"

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(818): i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday... (805): i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it" http://tfl.nu/3fjc

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(586): View more from Michigan

She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.

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(586): She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes. http://tfl.nu/cn93

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(815): View more from Illinois

i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.

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(815): i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing. http://tfl.nu/zu31

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(336): View more from North Carolina

okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

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(336): okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style. http://tfl.nu/uhtz

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.

(910): View more from North Carolina

im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325

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(910): Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly. (910): im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325 http://tfl.nu/vc15

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(936): View more from Texas

He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.

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(936): He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again. http://tfl.nu/4f76

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(619): View more from California

The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.

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(619): The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer. http://tfl.nu/kgnu

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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(978): I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS http://tfl.nu/o0md

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(712): View more from Iowa

Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.

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(712): Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader. http://tfl.nu/60hc

Replies (1) Good night (1370) Bad night (292)
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(847): View more from Illinois

The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.

(312): View more from Illinois

Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE

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(847): The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking. (312): Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE http://tfl.nu/m86e

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