I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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