I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
