dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
