I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
