Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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