I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize