anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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