I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
