Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
