My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
