Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
