Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
