Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
