i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize