he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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