just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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