I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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