I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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