dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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