I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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