This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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