hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
