they need to just BURY HIM!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
