let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
