i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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