plz talk dirty to me
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
