I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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