white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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