i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize