I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
