Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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