so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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