I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
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Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You don't make any sense
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