ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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