I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
