so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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