you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize