The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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