Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
