Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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