i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my shit smells like andre
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
