is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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