brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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