She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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