Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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