come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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