just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
barbara walters just said penis...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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