How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
