Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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